Time for that Holiday Spirit

 Really?  Is it really time for that holiday spirit?  Seems like Kelly just took the giant Pirate Skeleton and collection of witches and zombies out of the front yard.  Can it really be time for Thanksgiving and then Christmas?  Apparently so.  And of course, here it is mid-November and I have done no shopping.  OK, true, pugs don't actually shop.  But each holiday season I like to go out and catch a nice mole, or perhaps a bird and leave it for my people.  It's just a little thing I do to say thank you for all they do year round.  I haven't had a chance to do that yet, so I better get going.  In addition, it's also time that I make out my letter to Santa.  Here's what I have so far:

Dear Santa Claws,
As I do every year, it is once again time to write to you and remind you of what an extraordinary Pug I am and instruct you ( um, request you) to fill my stockings with various delectable goodies.  Please recall the following instances of my worthiness.


1.  Remember that fist time Kelly tried to put me on a leash?  The conversation went something like this:
     Kelly:  "Pug, let's put this leash on you."
      Pug:  "I'd rather not."
     Kelly, "Please Pug, come out from underneath the table.  It's just a leash."
    "No thank you."
    Kelly, "Pug GET OVER HERE SO I CAN PUT THE @#@$#!! LEASH ON YOU.
    Pug:  "Nope"
    Kelly:  "You can't go for a walk with out it.  I'll just take Lily and Rex and you'll be here all alone."
     Pug:  "Fine"
***Well, as an example of my goodness, while they were out, I went and pooped BEHIND the bed, instead of out front where everyone would step in it.  As a matter of fact, I hid it so well, that they didn't notice until it was well dessicated and shriveled up. Very thoughtful, wouldn't you say?

2.  And then there was that time in the summer.  Remember that little boy next door?  Playing with that dangerous ball?  He could have put an eye out with that thing.  It could have also been a choking hazard.  He might have chased it out into the street into traffic.  Really, it was for it's own good.  No one even knew it was missing.  Later, there may have been some crying and/or screaming...something about a lost toy.  All I know was that it was in safe keeping.

3.  Once, Shari and Kelly put me in the bathtub. Oh never mind that incident, Santa.  Forget I mentioned it.

4.  I hate a dish towel. I can't help but feel they are somehow sinister in nature.  The dish towel and the pug are as mortal enemies as the mongoose and the cobra.  I consider it my job to eradicate them from the earth, and I'm doing so one towel at a time.  The back yard looks like a terry cloth burial ground.  Just doing my part to keep the world safe.  

5.  I make an excellent alarm clock.  Since both my mamas have to be at work by 8:30, I make sure to wake them up every day at 4:00 am, just to make sure they have plenty of time to get ready.  I might also add that I perform this service tirelessly, without so much as a word of thanks!

Well, really Santa, I could go on and on. I could tell you of stories of bravery and fierceness unparalleled by others, but I am a modest Pug by nature and don't like to brag.  At any rate, I'm hoping you'll come to the obvious conclusion and include me on the "nice" list, instead of the "naughty" list like last year.  It really was all a misunderstanding.  And I certainly would never have lapped up that glass of milk and eaten those cookies had I known they were for you.  No hard feelings right?

Assuming we're in agreement as to my "nice" status, here are my requests:
*Heated dog bed--it gets cold in the winter, and I never would have chewed the last one up if I had known how much I would miss it. 

*Punching bag with Rex's face on it.

*Collar with a bell for Lily.  I hate it when she jumps out of nowhere and pounces on me.  

*Lots of Pug snacks (of course)

*Maybe a nice dead rodent for my mamas in case I don't get a chance to do my shopping.

Thanks Santa.  I'll try not to bark at the reindeer this year.

Love,
Andy "Pug" Morrison-Handerhan